Saddam speaks for the first time

British newspaper News of the World claims to have the first interview with fallen dictator Saddam Hussein. In its Sunday, 4th of December issue, the newspaper claims that Saddam denies that he was caught in a hole, and that he was captured while getting ready to pray at dusk! Other highlights include:

• He hasn't seen sunlight in over a year
• Lives in a 12-square-meter room
• He is unhappy with the prison puddings
• He is not allowed to shave intentionally, so that he appears "ugly and mad" on tv
• He would have fought back when captured if only he had a gun nearby
• Refused to go under the knife and cleans his own clothes in fear of being poisoned
• He claimed to be behind the so-called insurgency
• His cigarettes are running out!